Accidental Ambivalence

This is Not a Real Post

Today, I am going to wear a lot of eyeliner, just because it seems like the thing to do.

Yesterday was a rough day at work. I was there early even though there wasn't really any reason for me to be - it does not take seven people to do what had to be done yesterday morning - which of course made me all sorts of pissy.

I am an irritable person. I hate being up early and I hate dealing with stupid people. When you combine those two things, adding in someone that I don't like, I will not be a nice person. The management staff has figured that out now, thankfully. When I am needed and working with people who do not suck, I do just fine with early mornings. Yesterday was not one of those days.

By 1 pm, I was texting Bradshaw to tell her that I was either going to snap on someone or burst into tears. I spent the last three hours I was working avoiding the person I wanted to yell at and blinking back tears. Part of me wanted to get sloppy drunk on my couch, watch something sappy, and wallow in my mood. The other part, which prevailed, wanted to take a 5-hour nap. And so I did.

I realized, when I was thinking about how much I want to get away, that I haven't been at home at the same time as my parents since, I think, July. I was there in September, but they were on vacation. This is not okay. The schedule for the week of Thanksgiving was posted, and I'm going to be able to be home by Tuesday night - I get off at 4 that day - and not be back until 4 that Friday afternoon. I am looking forward to that whopping three days at home, watching my cat be bitchy and not having to go to work and be nice to people. I'll be able to walk around in jeans and hoodies without feeling like I'm breaking my own new rules about what I can wear in public.

I'm going to concentrate on Thanksgiving and putting up my Christmas tree (which I want to do this Friday, though I'm going to wait until next Friday instead). I'm making lists of gifts I want to get for people and how I'll be sending a trio of care packages around the country.* This, right here, is your chance to tell me what you want for Christmas! I have a few half-formed ideas, but I need some guidance, ladies.

Good grief, I have no train of thought in this thing. You'll get a real post soon, I promise. Really.

*There would be four, but you kind of suck. You know who you are.

Labels: rambling

posted by nicalyse @ 10:12 AM