Accidental Ambivalence

Self-Love Day 2009

Happy Valentine's Day! Traditionally, this is the over-commercialized, over-merchandised holiday that couples are expected to celebrate. Men dread it, women build up huge expectations around it, and single people loathe it to the point of building up huge long rants about it.

I fall into none of these categories. As I've said, I use Valentine's Day as an excuse to wear pink (because I need an excuse?) and hearts, to ingest an excess of chocolate, to give people I love tokens of that love, and to buy candy on clearance the next day. That's all. No drama, no excess. I just enjoy the day.

This year, however, I am going to participate in self-love day, as was proposed to me by the lovely Ms. Sizzle. If you would also like to participate, snag the badge and discuss one thing about yourself that you really, truly love. Even if you don't have a blog - or aren't going to post - I would encourage you to consider what you love about yourself; it tends to put all of the diamonds-and-flowers business in perspective.

I love my self-sufficiency. I lived alone for over two years, and the decision to have a roommate was financial, not because I was lacking in company. Despite my small stature, I am not afraid to speak up for myself, to make sure that everyone in the room knows that I'm there. I am not physically intimidated by anyone; it is extremely rare that I am intimidated in any way by another person.

I enjoy being alone. I like having nights at home to read books and watch episodes of television shows that no one else enjoys as much as I do. I like going to the movies by myself, where there's no pressure from either side about getting snacks and I can sit exactly where I want without compromise. I can eat by myself in a restaurant without feeling self-conscious, and those are often the most satisfying mealtimes I have.

There are, of course, moments when I find myself wanting someone else for more than just physical companionship. There are times when I think it might be nice to have someone to drag downtown to see Slumdog Millionaire, to badger into taking me to a bar on Sunday night, to carry the table out to the storage shed. But therein lies the key: I sometimes want someone. I do not need someone. I am perfectly content by myself. I recognize how different that is from many of my peers, and I'm proud of it. I love myself for being self-sufficient.

Labels: holidays, personal growth

posted by nicalyse @ 1:30 PM