Cats Are Easier Than Kids
I just got off the phone with my friend Mickey, who I love to death. We went to high school together, we’ve worked together for years, and we just understand each other. We have the same type of attitude, and I’m one of very few people who will tell her what I think or ask her the difficult questions.
Mickey is twenty-two, her son will be three on Thanksgiving, she’s going through a divorce after three years of marriage (to a jerk, I must add), and she’s filing bankruptcy. In 2003 she lost her father, got engaged, got married, and had her son. Life likes to pile up on her, but I think she’s handled it pretty well.I love her son. I’ve never been much of a baby-sitter (being an only child doesn’t make people want to leave their kids with you), but I’m one of the few who has babysat for him. While he’s always great for me, he’s a bit of a heathen child.* Tonight while we were on the phone, he was proving it. At some point he learned to call her a bitch (probably from his father) and to throw things, so he managed to be put in time out three times in an hour. She spends a lot of time stressed, and even though she loves him, he drives her crazy a lot.
The entire time we were talking, all I could think was I’m glad it isn’t me. At this point in my life, I’m selfish. If I had to take care of someone else, I could, but I don’t want to. I’m concerned with
myself, first and foremost. For that matter, I’m still too selfish to even consider being in much of a relationship. Compromise isn’t my strong point right now, and I know from watch my parents that it’s one of the most important components to a healthy marriage.As much as I love little kids and want one of my own one day, now isn’t the time. As nice as it would be to have steady access to intelligent conversation and sex, now isn’t the time to be looking for a serious relationship either. I’m self-absorbed, and I’m okay with that.
Maybe I should get a cat.**
*That’s right, I just busted out what I like to call “hick-speak.” This is what it’s like where I come from.
**There are three reasons why I don’t have one now. 1. Food costs money that I can spend on clothes. 2. I go home lots of weekends and I would feel bad leaving it behind. 3. Bradshaw is allergic, and if I had a cat here, she could never spend time here any more.
posted by nicalyse @ 10:39 PM
4 Comments:
That's great that you have someone like Mickey. We take those kinds of relationships for granted sometimes. It's so great to have a friend you can really confide in and who understands you to the utmost.
Kids. Ugh. Dont get me wrong, I love kids and everything, but kids and Scrib dont really...mix. I dont know, I just have no clue how to act around them. I dont understand them and they sure as hell dont understand me. Makes me terrified of ever becoming a mother, which really sucks because I very much want to become one someday. In the future. Years and years away. No, really, like, years. lol. I'm like you, definitely not ready yet.
One of my best friends just got married this summer and she just found out she's pregnant...and she's 20. Yikes. I cant even imagine being married and having a kid right now. I dont even know who I am yet. I still have so many things to learn and see and I want to be able to teach those things to my kids. And lets face it, I want a life. Cause you know when you have a kid that sorta goes out the window. Maybe not in every case, but definitely in most. Sad but true.
I hate cats. So I vote no on the cat thing. Haha. Good enough reason not to get one I'd say. But I have to agree with you that they're a tad bit easier to take care of than kids. Just a tad though. ;)
Exactly. I'm going to stick to just caring about myself for now.
I love cats. A lot. And I really would have one, and Bradshaw is the biggest reason I don't. However, next year she'll be gone and I probably will get one.... I like that idea.
Besides, cats are easier to take care of than dogs too.
I know exactly what you mean about having a friend you can turn to when you need some support! It's terrible how bad things seem to happen all at once, it really can test a person's limits.
I baby-sat a lot as a teenager, that doesn't mean I was particularly good at it though. One night all three of my charges managed to get locked into a closet, so there I was holding a baby trying to wrestle this door open. Good thing they paid well or I would have been tempted to walk out and leave them stuck in the closet.
I cannot imagine being married and having a child right now, I'm mature enough and smart enough to realize I'm not ready for that yet. Someday I want the blue house with the picket fence and blue mustang outside in the garage (hey you can't give up all your dreams for your children). Right now, in this moment though, I want to travel and be crazy. I want to do all those wonderful things you can't do when you are tied down.
Cats, I think it's a grand idea, maybe next year you can get one. Just make sure not to become the crazy cat lady, cause that's never cool, just sad and lame ;)
At what age does a girl go from 'cat lover' to 'crazy cat lady?' Or is it dictated by the number of cats?
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