Accidental Ambivalence

Superiority Complex

I'm spending the next week on a vacation from my "real job"* at the Giant Bookstore to go home to Small Town and house-sit for my parents, who are on an actual vacation. I got back this morning, discovered that my normally thoughtful mother left the kitchen sadly empty, and in turn went to the grocery store.

After spending half-an-hour wandering through the shelves, tossing random things into the cart - so much worse than the very deliberate shopping I always try to do for my own apartment - I went to the checkout. When I got there, I saw none other than my elementary school arch nemesis. She was possibly the only person that I was ever unkind to before I reached the age of thirteen, the victim of my tauntings of "Mushroom Head," earned because her mother had given her an extremely unflattering bowl haircut that did, in fact, leave her with a head that seemed to be shaped like a mushroom. And as I watched her scanning cartons of yogurt, frozen pizzas, and an impulsive bottle of high school wine**, I wasn't worried about what she was thinking of my purchases, a typical Nic reaction. Oh no, I found myself thinking far more cruel things than that. "I may be a bum," I said to myself, "but at least I'm a bum with a college degree who got the hell out of Small Town."

Things like this are proof that I am far more judgmental than is fair. I'm not yet sure if I'm going to try to change it or learn to live with it.

* I say real job, but we all know that this is my way of being a bum for another year. I'm coming to accept it.
**Read: Boone's Farm. If you've ever been to a high school house party, you have seen - and probably consumed - Boone's Farm wine. It comes in fruity flavors and shouldn't be allowed to be called wine at all.

Labels: everyday musings, Small Town

posted by nicalyse @ 4:20 PM