Accidental Ambivalence

Martha vs. Snooki

Confession: I want to be a type-A person.

I feel like there's a weird tendency to both revere and tease type-A behavior. Our culture is alternately obsessed with things like organization and hedonism, perfection in appearances and embracing our imperfections. We like the fastidiousness of Martha Stewart and the train wreck that is Jersey Shore. We're obsessed with organizing our times and our belongings, but we seek out expressions of lost inhibitions (think textsfromlastnight and The Real Housewives of Wherever). And I'm just as bad as everyone else because almost all of those examples come from my own interests and habits.

I love the idea of being something who is ruthlessly organized. I want a spotless kitchen and a refrigerator where all of the labels face forward and the leftovers are neatly stored. I want perfection in color scheme and the objects I display in my home. I want my wardrobe to be perfectly cohesive, and when I get dressed I want people to think it looks just like me. I want to make and complete dail to do lists, to make my bed every morning, to eat perfectly portioned and balanced meals.

That's so far from my truth.

I have my type-A moments. I alphabetize my books and DVDs, I color-code planners (when I keep them), and I'm completely anal about the placement of things in my makeup bag, purse, and computer files. But for the most part, I can't keep it up. As I write, I can see the following: five dresses strung across the top of my heating stove, a kitchen table scattered with random things, a sink full of dishes, carpets that need vacuuming, floors that need mopping, and a stack of magazines sliding from the arm of the couch onto the seat and against sleeping Puck. I also know that my bathroom counter is strung with stuff, there is an enormous pile of clothes (mostly from spring) at the foot of my bed, and the passenger-side floorboard of my car is filled with trash.

For all of those organizational tendencies and jealousies, I am a slob. I find none of the things listed in the previous paragraph particularly distressing. At some point, I will either convince myself to take care of them or they will, suddenly, begin to be absolutely unacceptable and I'll be absolutely nutty until they're gone, but there isn't anything that can make me maintain the fastidious organization that I'd like to have.

For years, I've tried to make myself into a type-A person. I've made detailed schedules for cleaning and organizing, read books and websites, berated myself, asked others to berate me - all to no avail. I'm not quite ready to let go of it either. While I've accepted that dishes in the sink and and an unmade bed are far from things to worry about, I'd still like to get rid of my habits of filling every horizontal surface in my home with random stuff and leaving piles of clothes in various places instead of hanging and putting them away.

There are all sorts of negative connotations that go along with this type-A thing. Even my awareness of those doesn't change my mind. I took this quiz and learned that I am 70% type-A, which the quiz seems to think is a good thing, a balanced thing. I'm sure that's true, but it still annoys me a bit.

Where do you fall on the organizational spectrum?

Labels: everyday musings

posted by nicalyse @ 12:58 PM