Accidental Ambivalence

Things I Love Thursday

Hummingbirds Growing up, my Grandma always hung feeders for them, so I followed suit. For the first month or so, I never saw anything and assumed that the nectar was evaporating rather than being drunk. I let it run dry, then rushed to fill it when I saw the first hummingbird come and fly away disappointed. In the weeks since, that one lonely hummingbird has become a family of multiple males and females who play peek-a-boo (or go-away-I-hate-you - who can tell?) and completely mesmerize me. Love.

Getting calls to sub Last year, it took months after I'd given schools my information to get my first call to substitute. It was during that time that I was forced to suffer the indignity of asking my mom for enough cash to get bread and milk. Since summer began, I've been preparing myself for the possibility that I wouldn't work again until October or later. This year, however, I have an estabilished reputation with schools; I'm a reliable, competent substitute, and they like me. Which is why I already have a few days lined up, starting with Friday afternoon! It's a little like insurance, I guess, and it feels good.


Parents who will rescue me Being stranded three hours from home sucks. Sucks. Having parents who will come and rescue their adult child, forsaking one of their few nights off? Pretty awesome, and comes without the guilt I would feel asking a friend or a guy to come rescue me (though I'm totally a damsal in distress).

Synchronicity I'd already written TILT - referencing both Advice for All My Children and hummingbirds before I checked it this morning for the purpose of acquiring the link. This was the most recent post:


Last weekend Bradshaw and I don't get to spend nearly enough time together, but when we do, it's pretty excellent. If you read yesterday's weekend recap, you know that we aren't always the most exciting pair of ladies, but that's kind of the point. If you can't sit at home and watch TV with someone, are you really good friends? If you always have to be doing something, what does that say? Since B and I don't have to do anything, I think that says good things.

Plans to put myself on a writing schedule Since I was about nine, my mom has been expecting me to be a published writer. Not as something she's pushed me toward, but as something that I enjoy and have a talent for. I have the same expectation for myself, but I tend to lack that vital combination of inspiration and follow-through. I think that part of the Universe's reason for not presenting me with the perfect full-time teaching job (and at this point, I won't settle for a job that isn't what I want) is to give me the freedom to write. I squandered that freedom, honestly, last school year, and I want to instead take advantage this year. I'm going to make an effort to write every day, preferably fiction (though even writing blog posts is something, right?).


Glitter and sequins Mockingjay anticipation - UPS will bring my copy this afternoon (I hope); planning Christmas cookies - too early? no such thing; gorgeous, cool weather; seeing Hawk this weekend - I forget how much I really like that guy; Advice for All My Children; feeling super-cozy and comfortable in bed; writing grocery lists and planning my shopping trip; thinking ahead enough to bring a book with me this weekend, even though I didn't think I'd have time to read - totally saved me and now makes me think I should keep a book in my car at all times; working so hard to stick to my no-snacks plan; reading nonfiction; gaining clarity; thinking about painting inside my house - I want to paint my door pink and may look at paint this afternoon; eternally cute kittens; red velvet cupcakes (I ate that cupcake, which had cream cheese frosting, even after it sat in my hot car for four hours. Hooray for an iron stomach!); Radical Self-Hate? Stop the Madness!; Puck and Marilyn's excitement at my return; validation; pretty city landscaping; cake and cookie decorating toys.

all photos sourced at Tumblr

Labels: TILT

posted by nicalyse @ 11:53 AM