Accidental Ambivalence

Curve

Sunday night, I was called into work a music shift at Giant Bookstore. Our store recently had security cameras installed, along with monitors in the managers' office and one back in the music department. For whatever reason, the view on the music monitor is of the person standing behind the register - rather than on a place in the department that someone standing at the register would have trouble seeing, because that would be far too logical - and I found myself watching...myself.

Egocentric, yes, but six hours spent in the slowest part of the store with nothing interesting to look at but myself meant that I spent a good bit of time doing just that; the way that my skirt fell across my hips, my shiny new hair color, the shape of my calves in kitten heels. And even as I attempted to dissect parts of myself, I kept coming back to the same thought: I'm pretty happy with that girl. I am fairly thin, and though I'm not perfect, I like my shape from most angles. My legs are long in proportion to the rest of my body, my waist is narrow, the curve of my back is pronounced in a way that I tend to envy in starlets (who knew my back did that?), and my behind is kind of cute. I even like the pale tone of my skin and the slight flush I could see on my cheeks.

And this, I found myself thinking, is a proper perspective. To be able to overlook the things I don't love as much in favor of the things that are lovely about me. To think that, push to shove, I am attractive. Eventually, I got tired of looking at myself. Then I read the new issue of In Style.

Straight back to reality.

Labels: personal growth, work

posted by nicalyse @ 9:10 PM