Seen and Heard: Marriage Edition
Sunday, 18th October '09, via text messageBradshaw: [friend] would like to know if you would marry him. I told him about your Guinness cupcakes.
Nic: Did you mentioned the Bailey's cream cheese frosting? And the plethora of other tasty goodies I can make?
Bradshaw: Bailey's yes. Just mentioned tasty goodies. He says any time you want to get married give him a call. It's been commented that your would be the shortest wedding ever. :)
Nic: We'll do the old school pact: Still single in ten years, I'm his.
Bradshaw: *double fist pump* Quote, "I'm engaged!!"
Monday, 19th October '09, in the middle of the road, following a conversation about my moving back to Small TownNeighbor: So, you aren't married?
Nic: No.
Neighbor: Never have been?
Nic: No.
Neighbor: And no steady boyfriend?
Nic: No.
Neighbor: Well, if you want, I can keep my eye out for you.
Nic: You know, I think I can handle it. But thanks.
In chatting with Bradshaw this evening (actually, as I type this), I decided that I should have told him that I was, in fact, engaged and he could expect an invitation to a wedding in a decade or so.
Labels: eavesdropping
Seen and Heard: Text Tease
This conversation took place on Saturday night after three or so drinks, a friend's concert, and a few rounds of Mario Kart on Wii.
I'm on my way home if you're interested in joining me.
Boy: (ten minutes later) There are a bunch of people at my house. Come here.
Girl: Not happening. I'm already home, undressed, and drinking beer.
Boy: I can't just leave.
Girl: That's fine. I'm going to watch a movie. You have two hours to consider what you want before I lock the door and go to sleep.
(phone rings) Boy: Your door better be unlocked. I'll be there in five.
I won.
photo via I Heart ItLabels: boys, eavesdropping, flirting
Seen and Heard: Nic and Bradshaw
Scene: Bradshaw has just sneezed twice, and I have continued to speak without interrupting myself for the obligatory "bless you." She sneezes a third time.Nic: Bless you.
Bradshaw: Thanks.
Nic: I could tell that you were going to do it again, so I thought I'd save the words and just say it once.
Bradshaw: You could tell I was going to sneeze? That's an interesting skill.
Nic: Yeah, not really useful, but interesting.
Bradshaw: Like small penises.
Nic: laughs, then pauses Wait, how are small penises interesting?
Bradshaw: Because when you look at them you say, Aw, it's so little!
(pronounced "leetle")Nic: laughs more Oh my god, you just said that like you were talking about a kitten!
Bradshaw: Yes, but small penises don't make me sneeze.
And these are the things that happen when Bradshaw and I just sit down for a simple dinner. I love her.
Labels: eavesdropping
Seen and Heard: Text Message
Nic: Naps are god.
Gallagher: Good! Dinner will be ready in fifteen!
Nic: I'm making coffee, then I'll head over. Coffee is also god. I am polytheistic.
Labels: eavesdropping, everyday amusements
Seen and Heard: Gmail Chat
Bradshaw: i had a sex dream about [insert boy here] last night
me: oh man
dude, I'd kill for even a sex DREAM
Bradshaw: oh god would be better
Bradshaw: seriously
it was better than I remembered, and my memory recalls it being really damn good.
me: grumble
when will I learn to just go ahead and be a slut?
Bradshaw: ha
when I learn to accept Christ as my personal savior, cure cancer, and get back together with Jerk Ex-Boyfriend....aka half past impossible
me: I just almost gagged on my coffee
me: leading off with Christ, that's what did it for me
Bradshaw: mission accomplished.
Labels: Bradshaw, eavesdropping, everyday amusements
Seen and Heard: Piano Bar Volume II
In wee little pieces today, because no one conversation was good enough to merit and entire post. It was a slow night. Possibly because I wasn't drinking.
Overheard in the ladies' room while washing my hands at the sink next to a belligerently drunk girl and her slightly-less-belligerent friend.Belligerent: I don't know why the fuck he thinks it's okay to get drunk.
Friend: Um...because we're in a bar.
B: But he's here with me!
F: You're drunk.
B: But I never told
him that
he could get drunk!
F: You're not just drunk. You are a drunk ass.
B: I know. Fuck you.
---------------
When I was chatting with Gallagher's temporary roommate, C, and friend Kitty, about K*.Nic: Who is the blond with K with the sourpuss look on her face?
C: That would be the ice skater. He fucked her on Thursday.
Nic: Okay...what's with the evil looks at me?
Kitty: Because you, as a female, are a threat.
Nic: *blank stare*
C: You have tits and he gave you a hug. You clearly aren't heinous, nor are you his sister, therefore, you are a threat. It's really very simple.
Nic: *blank stare*
Kitty: If she realized that two of the girls K has fucked in the last week were also in the room right now, she wouldn't be worried about you.
Nic: I can't decide whether I should think K is a slut boy or whether I should hate on girls for being stupid.
C: I hate girls for being stupid.
Kitty: I know K is a slut.
C: Yeah, true.
Nic: *sips tequila sunrise*
---------------
Four girls, all attractive, are standing outside of the bar after last call. A car full of Spanish-speaking men drives by, the men shouting complimentary obscenities.Girl 1: What the hell?
Girl 2: He said something in Spanish. I think it was lewd.
Girl 1: He said he wants to fuck you!
Girl 2: Hey!
Girl 1: [shouting] That is no bueno!
No bueno!*Not my old K. I never talk to him.Labels: alcohol, eavesdropping
Seen and Heard: Starbucks
Sunday afternoon the weather was gorgeous, so I decided that I should take my reading material (see the sidebar, kittens) outdoors. Since my apartment has no yard and no patio, I opted for an iced caramel latte and the unobtrusive company of Starbucks.
I was feeling just a bit smug, sitting there with my advance reader's copy of the next Philippa Gregory book, when three people sat down at the table next to me. One gentleman was telling the couple he was with a story about taking a girl for a ride on his motorcycle (a drool-worthy cruiser, I must say). The interesting thing, though, is that he was one of those people who misuses words.
You know that person. They were far more prevalent in high school or in college classes that they weren't really qualified to be in. They've read a pretentious word in a book or heard a professor use it or found it on their "Word a Day" calendar, so they think they know how to use it. But then they throw it out into a conversation and it totally backfires. He was one of those.
As I sat there, listening to him butcher words like "consummated" and "arbitrary," I found myself wondering what someone might think if they eavesdropped on my conversations. While I would like to think that they wouldn't be able to judge my grammar and vocabulary, I wonder what they would find to judge.
It made me wonder if perhaps it was unfair of me to listen to the too-loud conversations the people around me have and judge them. Then I realized that I don't care. Consequently, I will be going straight to hell.
Labels: eavesdropping
Seen and Heard: Big City Bar
As you're all aware by now, I spent last weekend with Bradshaw in Big City. We sat outside at one of the many bars that is within a five-minute walk of her apartment, and while this exchange wasn't exactly acquired because I was eavesdropping - because it wasn't a quiet conversation and everyone heard - it was amusing enough to qualify for a Seen and Heard post.
A couple walks out of the bar, somewhere in their forties I would guess. The woman, dressed in something that I might wear to a bar but my mother - who is forty - wouldn't have been caught dead in and a pair of wedges I might have stolen off her feet, stepped outside and almost immediately fell down. Yes, fell down. Flat on her ass. I had to press my lips together to keep from laughing, quite a show of my self-control since I was a bit intoxicated myself. The gentleman with her was carrying a bar glass, sipping what was obviously the last of many drinks. He looked at the woman, then kept walking. She pulled herself off the ground, probably flashing anyone who was looking in the process, then stumbled behind him, weaving very obviously on the crowded sidewalk. A waiter comes up behind them, telling the gentleman that he cannot take the glass with him down the street. The gentleman, belligerently drunk, turns, gives the waiter a dirty look, knocks back the rest of the drink, and slams the now-empty glass onto the nearest metal table. Which just happened to be occupied by a couple who hadn't seemed to see the rest of the exchange, because they were obviously startled.
The gentleman grabbed his very drunk companion by the wrist, seemed to realize that she wasn't going to be able to keep up, and then let go, crossing the street angrily while she lurched and weaved and stumbled a good ten feet behind him.
The waiter picked up the empty glass, apologized to the couple seated at the table, and looked at our table where the seven of us had been watching the exchange in disbelieving amusement. He shook his head, smiled, and shrugged. "Drunk asses."
I kind of wish he had been our waiter.
*Yes, literally.Labels: alcohol, eavesdropping
Seen and Heard: Piano Bar
There is, I think, something to be said for getting into the swing of things with blogging. Back when I was doing it every day, I constantly found things that were interesting enough to write at least a couple of paragraphs about. Lately, however, I’m finding nothing interesting enough to even tell another person when I'm struggling for conversation, let alone interesting enough to type out and expect you kind people to read.
That being said, Tuesday nights at Piano Bar are becoming my favorite time to people watch. When you go out to a bar, there’s the first hour or so when you haven’t had so much to drink that you’re completely self-absorbed, but you also don’t feel that everyone else should be paying attention to you either. I have come to realize that this is the best time of the night to observe all of those crazy people around me. I am eavesdropping* on conversations and watching the way that those people around me interact, and I believe that Wednesday posts should now be devoted to my people-watching adventures.**
Last week, Gallagher’s roommate, Harrison*** and I, stood at the side bar, sipping beers and watching a girl fight with her boyfriend. Apparently the boyfriend had stood up the girlfriend for going out that night. Frustrated, she told him that she was going to stay in, then changed her mind and headed to P Bar with her friends. Assuming that the girlfriend wasn’t going to change her mind, the boyfriend – clearly a winner, let me tell you – decided to go ahead and take his date to P Bar. When he walked in and saw the girlfriend, he didn’t even pretend that it was a mix up or a mistake; he owned the fact that he was with another girl, was already drunk, and didn’t understand why the girlfriend was so upset. The two spent thirty minutes having a very drunken fight where he told her that he wanted to hit her – Harrison was waiting for it happen so he could then hit the boyfriend. Any time the two of them weren’t fighting, he kept looking me up and down.**** I was grossed out, but the exchange was amusing.
Sitting at the tables with our group later, I glanced over at the front bar and saw a couple standing there with their tongues down one another’s throats. Seriously. Harrison saw, started giggling like a thirteen-year-old girl, and proceeded to give me the play-by-play so I wouldn’t have to turn to look. Eventually the guy decided that standing at the crowded bar was not the best place for making out and declined to partake any further. The girl he was with didn’t feel the same way. The evening ended with her in tears, following him down the street outside the bar.
Here’s my question though: If you’re going to fight with your significant other, aren’t there better places to do it than a loud, crowded bar? At some point, don’t you decide that it’s time to go home to fight? Or do these people just lack that filter that tells them that the things they are doing aren’t socially appropriate?
I’m going to take the time someday to write the stories of all these people, the way that I imagine them playing out. I think it could make for an interesting collection of stories. I am now officially taking title suggestions for the collection.
* This is not unusual for me. I'm nosy and listen to lots of conversations. I figure that if people didn't want to be heard, they would find more private places to have these conversations.
** At the P Bar. Except for when I don't go to P Bar. Then I will find something else to eavesdrop on and share with you.
*** Harrison amuses me endlessly. He is a sports-obsessed, ice cream-loving guy who would probably walk through fire to save someone who was in trouble.
**** I wore the gray dress again. Apparently it's also a magnet for icky boys.Labels: eavesdropping, piano bar
