Another difficult week since I've spent the last eighteen hours or so fighting a fever and wishing I was dead. But, despite that, it's been a lovely week! Forgive me is I'm brief, I'm still not a hundred percent.
Memorial Day When I got home from work, the Roommate and the boy decided that we were going to grill. I then spent the entire rest of the evening stuffing my face: hot dog, turkey burger with provolone and hoisin (yum, seriously), black bean hummus, grilled pineapple, and s'mores. Oh yes, we lit the chiminea (whose name is Bill, of course) and toasted marshmallows for gooey s'more goodness. The evening ended with hot-tub-and-booze time as well as me getting my way. It was perfect.
S'mores Tuesday night ended in s'mores as well. So freaking worth it.
Kittens Yesterday, my parents brough two little kittens from home that are being adopted by friends here in College Town. One went home last night with a girl that I know will be an excellent kitty mommy while the other stayed with me. I woke up - feverish, yes - with kitten curled up on my shoulder, purring like a boat motor in my ear. So. Effing. Cute. She's spirited and sweet and adorable and such fun. It makes me sad that I cannot have another cat.
Tudors nights Sunday was the last episode of the season as well as Spark's last night in the house she's been in for two years. We ate pizza, watched the show, and marvelled over the fact that we saw more of Katherine Howard's character naked than clothed. Love that show so much.
Quiet time Even though the hot tub was the catalyst for feeling so awful last night and today (I learned that if you're running a bit of a fever and get into 105 degree water, it will spike your temperature. Who knew?), having quiet time at home was lovely. I took in the latest issue of Vanity Fair and enjoyed the way that the water soothed my muscles and gave me a chance to unwind after a long day.
Little cutes Pale blue eyes; Everwood (yes, still); the Audrey Hepburn movie waiting for me (Paris When It Sizzles); drinking massive amounts of orange juice; drugs that kill my fever; How to Buy a Love of Reading; dark nail polish; planning summery outfits; getting up later after showering at night; black bean hummus; maybe attending tonight's Jazz Age birthday party; half-price appetizers that are delicious (garlic bread with marinara and a cocktail for under $5); learning more about astrology; text messages; winning; kisses in the shower; being very comfortable in my own skin and with the people around me.
I have been feeling the urge for a new tattoo lately, and I think something textual would be very much in the realm of who I am. I already have a letter N behind my left ear and I think it is both the most beautiful and certainly the most meaningful of my three tattoos.
Most of these photos were found via the Body Type pool on Flickr. There are many other photos in the pool that I cannot upload due to the user's settings, so I would encourage you to look if any of these tickle your fancy.
This was an exercise that I did in a class a few years back, and the entire point was to say aloud to someone - and believe - that I was a writer. Not someone who knew a lot about writing, not someone who wrote sometimes, not someone who taught writing, but a writer. I said it to Bradshaw, who looked at me and simply said, "I know."
I've been writing as long as I can remember. When I was very young, I remember a story about a bunny, though I'm not sure what the bunny did. Most of what I've written has been inconsequential, first-person drivel that basically amounted to wish fulfillment. I took a short story class that helped me to grow as a writer through revision and showing my work to other people. I've journaled inconsistently for years, and I clearly have a blog.
Sometimes, I fear that the old cliché of "those who can't, teach" will be true of me. My mother has been saying for years that if I don't write a book she will be surprised and that I will have wasted a ridiculous amount of paper; others, getting to know me, have agreed. Maybe it's that expectation that keeps me from writing, which is ridiculous since, if nothing else, I always live up to others' expectations for me.
It's been months since I've written anything substantial, but finding the 1000 Words blog linked in TILT inspired me. It reminded me of a book of writing prompts that I own and the fact that, while I loved the book so much that I recommended it to a friend who also loved it, I've never actually carried through with an entire prompt.
Part of me is inspired to write. I don't have a good excuse not to; I have only good excuses to take the time to do it. I think, perhaps, that is the best thing.
Well, I'm coming off a pretty crappy day to write this (I was sick), but I think I can still come up with lots of things that make me happy this week. Here we go!
Sleeping all day I was sick yesterday, which is never great. There is, however, one giant perk to being sick: sleep. You are not only encouraged but expected to spend the entire day in bed, dozing and reading and watching whatever is on your television (Project Runway season two on DVD). If you wake up with a headache, you just pop some ibuprofen and roll over. I'm pretty sure that I slept at least twelve hours yesterday, and it was pretty amazing.
1000 WordsThis is a gorgeous collaboration between two people. The premise: one takes a photo, the other writes a story of exactly one thousand words to accompany each month. There are only four stories so far, but each is lovely and well worth the time to read it. It reminds me of a book of writing prompts that I got about a year ago: A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words. I've passed it on to others who like it, and if the blog tickles your fancy, perhaps the book will too! It makes me want to write again - why did I ever stop?
Being needed What's better, being wanted. At work for the summer reading kickoff party. At home for grilling and hot tub time. With friends, for The Tudors and and tacos. I like being needed.
"Here's the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie."
Enjoying outside Sunday afternoon the weather was gorgeous, so I went to sit on a gorgeous - if random - stage-like area between the art museum and the park. I sat in the sunshine with a passion tea lemonade to write in my journal and read a book and it was perfectly lovely. I'm going to do my best to enjoy the weather before it gets so hot that it just makes me sick.
Time alone I crave it. I love it. Perhaps I am a more solitary creature than I ever realized.
via lilihit
Little bitsEverwood; strawberry shortcake for breakfast - so decadent, but actually not bad for me; being told I have a great ass; borrowing books; Gabrielle Kai Photography has a beautiful blog; people who want me to be happy; Notes from the Universe being weirdly pertinent to my life; learning more and more about astrology and seeing all of the ways it goes hand-in-hand with mythology; planning a photography project; being in charge because I am very good at it; finding wonderful things to add to my Netflix queue; long showers with plenty of hot water.
Today, I want to be alone. I am not in a funk. I am not angry. I am not avoiding anyone. I simply want to have some time to myself in which to be loud or naked or weird or quirky or whatever.
Apparently everyone is attempting to thwart my efforts.
The weather this time of year is the sort of thing that I could live with for months, but only lasts for a few weeks (damn global warming). I feel compelled to go for a walk or sit outside and read while drinking coffee or even just nap with the windows wide open.
I sometimes feel torn between the two sides of my personality. I am an extrovert who very much enjoys being busy and spending time with people and having lots of plans. I am also someone who is very comfortable alone and enjoys some downtime and quiet. For some reason, I always feel like I cannot have both at the same time, but not exactly in a literal sense. I'll go for a few weeks with plans every night, going to dinners and having drinks and feeling restless in the moments when I'm not busy, then suddenly I'm done. I'll spend a few weeks staying home each night, cooking and baking and reading and watching DVDs and usually not missing what's going on outside. It feels weird to me to have plans two or three nights a week and stay home the rest of the time, or to stay home all week and go out for a night or two. It's all or nothing, one extreme or the other.
Currently, I'm in a busy mode. As such, I feel very little inspiration to write anything of substance for the blog. Most of the substance comes from being alone and thinking and needing an outlet. Maybe that's why I go back and forth; quiet time is more emotionally taxing while busy time is more physically so.
This morning I had breakfast with a boy that the Roommate set me up with. He is a very nice boy. Smart, funny, capable of having a conversation without awkward moments, and attractive. Sounds perfect, and probably is on paper, but there's just one teensy problem: I'm not attracted to him. I feel no urge for physical contact; I do not want to tear his clothes off. Roommate told me that wanting to rip the clothes off was important, but Spark said it better: if you don't want to jump them, you're just friends.
So maybe he will be a great friend. I know that I don't want to string him along, and it's not fair to date him and be thinking about sleeping with someone else. Maybe it's simply time for me to go back into quiet time and stay home. I have a stack of books (and I'm not allowed to buy more until I've read at least half of them), a new embroidery project, an untouched skein of yarn for crochet, an expectation for more chocolate Guinness cupcakes, and a very full Netflix queue.
Sometimes I think I need something to remind me to breathe.
Storms Yes, I know that tornadoes are bad and that I live in a place where there are many tornadoes and that it is tornado season. I even know that the lovely storms that sound so wonderful are usually in the process of hurting someone or something far away. That doesn't stop me from liking the way that they sound. I love thunder and heavy rain, and I like lightning as long as I'm inside and away from windows. Twice this week we've had tornado warnings here in College Town - but I'm enjoying it.
Hot tub Roommate bought one and it was installed yesterday. We got in last night - at 81 degrees - and nearly froze to death, but by the time I get off work tonight, it should be warm and wonderful. I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm so looking forward to soaking with the jets on, reading a good book and drinking something tasty (and likely alcoholic). I keep thinking of all the naughty, slightly dirty fun that is going to happen in there.
Percy Jackson Hey, it's totally okay for me to love the same things over and over, and I love these books. The final book in the series was released last Tuesday, but I waited until I had finished rereading the earlier books before I bought it. I started reading it Tuesday evening - and finished last night. It was an action-packed, satisfying end to the story. I seriously encourage anyone who enjoyed Harry Potter (though you might love these even if you didn't), likes adventure stories with great humor, and/or has an interest in Greek mythology to pick these up. They are classified as young reader (probably a fifth to seventh grade reading level, if you ask me), and the first four run around eight dollars in paperback. They make me happy!
Forgotten Blues II by Jon Schueler
Art I went to the art museum here in town today for the first time in years (the last time I went, I still lived in the dorms, which was even before I started the blog) and I'm so glad I did. I work with a lady who volunteers as a docent and she had recommended the current exhibits to me and recommended the best way to view the galleries. I don't know a lot about art, but the paintings were beautiful, particularly an exhibit of paintings by Jon Schueler. It makes me wish I was wealthy and lived in a big, impressive house that I could fill with gorgeous art.
Little smiles Asian sesame salad; bright pink fingernails; finding a cute bathing suit on sale; underoos with popsicles; new Moleskine; advance proofs at work; handmade goodies; hard cider; Everwood in my Netflix; not going to work until after 8pm; attempting to let go; getting the giggles; books of quotations that are wonderful and not cliché; listening to A Fine Frenzy and knowing, via Twitter, that there will be a new album eventually; stacks of books; sweet tea vodka and lemonade - I think I shall buy a bottle of the vodka and make it my summer drink; the ease of wearing my hair straight; purple scarves; embroidering again; getting compliments on the owl bag; days that are full of lovely things rather than awful things; laughing so hard I cry and my abs hurt.
Embroidering new tea towels for kitchen use; also, the actual act of embroidering again (it's been a bit).
Going to a wedding at the end of next month.
The toffee-flavored coffee beverage I am going to purchase later this afternoon.
Finding and wearing cute new summer dresses.
Making cute things for people I like.
Question: How would people feel if I talked about books? Would you find this helpful or interesting, or would it be another things that I write that you read and say "meh" to?
I heart Thursdays. And since I forgot today was Thursday until about five minutes ago, getting to write this is like a lovely surprise!
Used books I have a bit of a confession. Back before I had access to the wonders of Giant Bookstore (aka, back when I was in high school), the vast majority of my book shopping had to be done at WalMart - in a town twenty miles from mine. As a result, I was well aware of the wonders of the mass market paperback romance. My favorite, due to the fact that she does have writing skill, was Nora Roberts. Even now, I harbor a bit of love for it, though I'm compelled to pick up a romance novel far less often. But Friday morning I spent four hours at work playing around with romance titles, and my brain began to get a little itchy for a bit of harmless, fairly simple fun. But I'm simply not willing to spend the little disposable income I have on trashy books (not with gems like The Last Olympian, Snoop, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and Testimonysitting there, begging for purchase). And so I spent at hour and eleven dollars in a used bookstore on a Nora Roberts 3-in-1 trade paperback, a perfect copy of The Reader, and Bridge to Terabithia. I read the romance over the weekend and it was worth every mindless moment.
Sleeping during the day After my bookstore adventure on Friday, I decided to take a long nap. It was storming and therefore very dim and rumbly in our house, which was perfect for snuggling with the cats and dozing. It's been too long since I had a chance to do that.
Astrology Yes, I've said it before. I borrowed a huge, fabulous book from work that I've been going through for about a week. Information about where each planet was and how they were related when I was born, plus some more general information that I can apply to people I know - happy. Roomie and I are both Aries with a Gemini rising, which is probably the reason that we get along; the fact that I know that both delights me and makes me want to roll my eyes a little. It's a phase, yes, but a fun one!
Hobby Lobby dates with Spark We met after work on Tuesday and spent a good chunk of time meandering, choosing fabrics and molesting yarn and finding adorable iron-on transfers for me to embroider. I also purchased a pink ink pad, an adorable rubber stamp, and 3x3 notecards that fit into little vellum envelopes to make happiness greetings for others. Once I get around to it, I'll take a photo and show you. They're painfully cute. Spark is going to make me one of her lovely bags (black and white damask lined in bright pink twill) which I'm very excited about, and I bought crinoline ladies to put on tea towels. I could seriously be a great homemaker if that was the path I chose.
Hot tub anticipation Roommate bought a hot tub! Once it arrives and is set up, we're throwing a luau, which I already know is going to be a ball. I am a devoted lover of baths, and since having a roommate I haven't really been able to bathe in the way that I prefer (very long, with candles and bubbles and a book). I'm looking forward to the opportunity to sit in the hot tub for an hour or two and read a great book.
This and that the smell of onions on a pizza; sweet tea vodka and lemonade (vodka! me!); walkthroughs on YouTube; pretty paper to hang on the wall; insane shopping lists; Sex and the City; new pink Moleskines; homemade postcards; red jackets; regaining composure; wearing sandals; gorgeous flowering bushes in our front yard; chicken nuggets with hoisin sauce; free drinks (must love bartender roomie); feeling less; talking about a passion for books; being given a position where I won't have to count; white chocolate; remembering the recycling; anigurumi; thinking about what people know I know (that sounds vain, and it probably is); the silly that comes when you try setting people up; pink chopsticks; the flowers on the patio; attic fan; pretty to do lists; piles of things to read.
I learned something today. I find it very difficult to separate myself emotionally from a situation when I cannot separate myself from it physically. Work was making me crazy, and I was upset until I got out of the store for lunch. I need to figure out how to separate my emotions from my physical presence.
Maybe this is why it's a good idea to avoid people who are bad for me rather than simply trying to control myself. Or, when I am arguing with myself intellectually about someone that I am physically attracted to, perhaps I should put myself near them.
That's the dirty version of what I learned in action though. Thoughts?
I love this faux cartoon at A Softer World. A bit of browsing leads me to believe that the rest of the site is amusing as well. Others I like include this one and this one. Those with twisted senses of humor (Bizz. Bradshaw.) will likely be particularly appreciative. Hit up the archive.
An article on The Frisky about the kind of women men are really attracted to: Men Love Curvy Women. It made me smile.
Sally at Already Pretty (which is way cuter than the average style blog, in my opinion) writes about Self-Love as Bravery. It made me think. We know how Nic likes thinking.
This. Look at the photo. Read the notes. Feel better about yourself.
This video is completely ridiculous and so amazing. Love.
Stationary Fetish I've long thought that I have one too. It's likely correct since I adore this little blog.
Sizzle's Let Me Hear Your Body Talk made me laugh for about ten minutes when I read it. I think we've all felt like this at some point.
I'm totally stuck on astrology lately. I like the monthly horoscopes at AstroStyle and AstrologyZone. Mystic Medusa writes some random - somewhat - astrologically-related things on her blog that often totally fascinate me. Of course, ignoring my random obsessions is completely understandable for you kittens.
Finally, anyone who wants to throw some gratitude into their daily lives should take a gander at Spark's blog. She lists things she's grateful for each day, and a handful of us attempt to do the same in the comments. I've been making a conscious effort to be more positive and recognize the things I have to be grateful for this year, and she's helping me with that.
Feel free to share links to things that you're loving too!
